Joke Time (1)

An Europian tourist goes on a trip to Thailand. While there, he is sexually attracted to the girls in the bar and doesn't use a condom.A month after arriving home, he finds his penis is covered with bright green spots. Horrified, he goes to see his doctor.Days later the doctor calls and says, "I have to something to tell you.. You have Vietnam STD. It's very rare. We know little about it. We have to cut your penis."The next day, the man seeks out a Malaysian doctor, figuring he'll know more about the disease.The Malaysian doctor examines him and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Vietnamn STD.""What can you do?" asks the man. "My Europian doctor wants to cut my penis!"The Malaysian doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid Europian doctors always want to operate. Make more money that way. No need to operate!""Oh, thank God!" the man replies."Yes!" says the Malaysian doctor. "Don't worry! Wait one month. Penis fall off by itself!"


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A priest dies and is waiting in line at the gates in heaven. Ahead of him is a guy who wears leather jeans and guess polo shirt. Saint Peter ask this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether your name are listed to enter in the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Roel Pilot, retired Emirate Airlines Pilot from Dubai."
Saint Peter scans his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this expensive expensive trouser and enter the Kingdom."The pilot goes into Heaven with his expensive trouser.
Next it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and boastful, "I am Msgr. Adrean , pariest priest of Saint Mary's Cathedral in Macaria for the last 39 years."Saint Peter consults his list.
He says to the priest, "Take this trouser made of sack of corn and enterthe Kingdom of heaven."

"Just a minute," says the priest, "that man was a pilot and he gets a expensive clothing, and I get trouser made of sack of rice. How can this be?"
"Up here - - we work by results," says Saint Peter, "while you preached -- people slept; while he flew - - people prayed